Wendy. Weeeendy, Wendy, Wendy. What is
there to say about Wendy? A lot! Which is fortunate since I've
decided to write about her. As with loads of other film lovers,
particularly genre fans, nostalgia plays a significant role in my
long term devotion. We justify mountains of mediocrity because
something tickled at the back of our brains as wee ones. Well, not
the back. I suppose it would be more on the side with the temporal
lobe? Though I guess the back makes sense since it starts with
processing the visualization in the occipital lobe, so, I was
initially correct. Lulz!
Prom Night benefits greatly from that
cognitive bias. Logic is not its friend, the kills are pretty tame
even by ye olden standards, and Jamie Lee's Kim isn't making any
Final Girl Hall of Fame that isn't exclusive to her oeuvre. Sure, the
dancing helped, but overall, it's kind of a snoozer. And I love it!
Oh, holy hades do I love me some Prom Night. The past coming back to
haunt you, a mystery killer, phone
terror, soft focus, disco! But mostly, I love Prom Night because of
Wendy Richards.
You knew she was trouble the moment she
was tagged “It” for their twisted take on hide-and-seek; “All
right, and I'll kill you all!” Alpha Bitch status was solidified
when after poor Robin's demise, Wendy convinced Kelly, Jude and Nick
to keep it secret via threats of obvious imprisonment. No matter that
Nick's pops was, like, Chief of Police or anything. Childhood
accident or not, dumb deserves death. Flash forward six – or by the
looks of them, sixteen – years and Wendy's Queen Bee status is
shaky.
She is gorgeous, wealthy and rocks a
smokin' side pony whilst zipping around Hamilton High in her orange corvette
but despite those riches, it has been a lonely reign and one now
coming to an end. Nick the simp is slooowly trying to dump her for
Prom Queen Kim and Kelly the virgin (noted by all the white she wears
and awkward kisses she gives her beau) and Jude the husky (noted by
the whopping five pounds she has on the other girls) have latched on
to Kim's coattails. She even has to exert effort to grab Lou's
attention. Lou, the 38yr-old unibrowed bohunk.
Oh, but she will not submit the crown
willingly. She informs Kim that “It's not who you go with, honey.
It's who takes you home.” and devises a (pretty weak ass) plan for
Lou to humiliate Nick and Kim at the coronation though makes it clear
she doesn't want anyone hurt. What? She has feelings? This is one
of the many things that set her apart from the standard slasher Mean
Girl with the bulk of the credit going to actress Anne-Marie Martin née
Eddie Benton. The reluctance in her venom is all over her face. The
embarrassment at not having a date to the prom is made obvious just
seconds before her classic retort and the disgust over her
affiliation with Lou is not hidden.
Wendy's disdain for Kim and distance
from her childhood friends shows me she harbors more guilt than
anyone. While the others seem to have moved on free of such burdens,
she can't bear to associate with the sister of the girl she
accidentally killed but she desperately holds on to Nick as a last grasp
at control. In that respect, Wendy is the most sympathetic of the
lot. See how the justification comes in handy?
While it is human nature for fans to
root for the death of the bitchy and the cruel, I wanted Wendy to
live. I wanted her to make nice with Kim, apologize for Robin even if
she didn't reveal the truth. I felt like Wendy had it in her, she simply couldn't be vulnerable without feeling weak. I mean, what the hell was
she supposed to learn about herself being brought up by that nosy
Grandma?
Unfortunately, we all knew Wendy was
doomed. It was expected. Always will be. What wasn't counted on,
however, was that she would be given the film's best scene. The grand
stalk and slash reserved for our heroines belonged to the bad girl. Considering
the killer, it couldn't be Kim's but why wasn't it given to logical
runner-ups, nice Kelly or funny Jude? Because even then, everyone
knew Wendy was teh awsum! It's obviously why Jamie Lee got her
Saturday Night Fever moment. Bad enough her onscreen rival
was actually beautiful and talented but she loses out on one of the
greatest chases scenes in slasherdom and has to flounce around
in Good Girl pink while Wendy creates weird feelings in gay men with
the hottest disco dress in the history of disco dresses that are hot?
Boy, that chase. The chase through
America's largest high school. It's substantial and filled with
tension. Wendy is confused, frightened and by it's end, exhausted. She even manages to get a good wallop in with a push broom. One of my very favorite elements to it all: She runs in heels. Why
doesn't she take them off, as I am sure many viewers have barked at
the screen? Why? Because she doesn't have to, bitches. Wendy isn't
flailing aimlessly or jogging in quicksand like so many of her sneakered horror
compatriots, no, girl is hoofin' it. Yeah, okay, she
trips in the gymnasium but it was dark and where the hell did that
wrestling mat come from?
I'd still love a Prom Night remake –
since there hasn't been one... I SAID THERE HASN'T! - where all the
little kinks have been ironed out, a few characters added and perhaps
even switch up the killer and/or his motivation but the one
non-negotiable is that Wendy still very much be Wendy. Bitchy, beautiful
and full of attitude but with a glint of humanity that gives you
pause before condemning her to a grisly fate and makes you very happy
she was given the film's best moment. That and the dress. Fuckin-A
she's still gotta wear that dress.
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